Splendor Bender
by roo17
Summary: Let's just say that Ace wakes up feeling different and soon discovers that his 'manhood' has been taken away. Crack fic!


Splendor Bender

**Summary: **_Let's just say that Ace wakes up feeling different and soon discovers that his 'manhood' has been taken away. Crack fic!_

**Warning: **Gender bending (nothing serious. Remember, this is a crack story.) Some swearing and some crude, unthoughtful actions. It's a little rushed, too, so sorry for that.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own One Piece, Ace, Marco, nor the entire Moby Dick crew. I mean, do you have _any_ idea what would happen to the OP universe if a girl such as I got a hold of it?

_**A/N: Okay, so I don't like the Gender-Bending stories (the ones where the character turns into the opposite gender during the story. If they're already changed at the beginning, I don't mind as much.) They just… totally throw me off, I don't like it, plus it usually leads to odd pregnancies and all that. BUT. The plot bunnies have taken over (Damn you, Loki!) and I MUST write a crack story about Gender Bending. And, of course, it involves two of my favorite characters.**_

_**Ace and Marco.**_

_**May the Plot Bunnies have mercy on their souls.  
**_

* * *

It had been, what Marco thought, a quiet and peaceful and relaxing morning. Why, you may ask, was he thinking such a thought? Because it was seven o'clock and nothing detrimental, nothing horrible, and nothing _idiotic_ had happened. _Yet_. He silently prayed, as he continued to sleep soundly in his cozy bed, that it would remain that way at least until 8:30 or 9:00. Of course, being the first commander of the Whitebeard pirates, he quickly learned that the saying "_You can't always get what you want_" was by far the most annoying, the most realistic, and the most repetitive phrase he had ever heard in his entire life.

Ace, on the other foot, had woken up precisely at seven o'clock; stretching his arms up in the air as the tired limbs tensed then eased. He gave a big yawn and absentmindedly scratched his bare chest. Running a hand through his jet-black hair, his eyes focused on the calendar that hung on his wall by a loose-looking nail. He made a quick mental note to replace said nail later and turned to his night stand to grab the book he had been reading the night before. He gently ran his hand across the book's brown leather cover and, without trying, several quotes came running to his mind.

_"Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things that escape those who dream only at night."_

_"I have no faith in human perfectibility. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect up humanity. Man is now only more active- not more happy- nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago."_

_"Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears."_

_"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality."_

_"Experience has shown, and a true philosophy will always show, that a vast, perhaps the larger portion of the truth arrises from the seemingly irrelevant."_

_"I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat."_

Ace couldn't help but grin at the last quote. It reminded him of the Cheshire Cat from Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. "We're all mad here," he quietly mused, his lips quirking into a light smirk. He set the book down back to where it was and pulled back his blankets, throwing his legs over the side of the bed as he sat up. As he stood up and took a few steps, he stopped; his brows furrowing. Something didn't feel right. He felt… different. Making up his mind, he headed to the bathroom to continue on with his morning.

Pounding. Loud, violent pounding at his door. A voice. A voice was yelling with something near hysteria in it. Ace. It was Ace's voice. "Marco! Marco, open the door! _Marco!_" The blond gave an animalistic growl as his eyes snapped open and he pushed himself off the bed. He had been having such a _damn good dream_ and he was supposed be able to sleep in for at _least_ another thirty minutes! Oh, ho! Ace was going to _get it._ "_Marco, please! Open the door!"_

The door swung open and Marco's fury-driven expression met Ace's wild and frantic eyes. Marco snapped, "What do you–"

"It's gone!" Ace cut in. "It's _gone_, Marco!" The first commander let out an exasperated sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose as the first signs of a headache started to appear. It was seven in the morning on Marco's _supposedly_ day to sleep in. But no, Ace had to come and ruin– "Mar–"

"Ace, calm the _hell_ down before I kill you. Now, tell me, _what_ is missing?"

"_It_ is, Marco! My pal, my friend, my wonderful manhood!" The blond didn't know what to say. He had been woken up thirty minutes– possibly sixty minutes– early for _this_? No. No, no, no, no, _no._ That was not how this worked. Marco looked up the frantic and freckled commander with nothing more than an exhausted and murdurous glare.

"I'm not dealing with this now. I'm going back to bed."

"But Marco–!"

"Ace, your dick doesn't just suddenly disappear."

"But mine _did_! It's been replaced with a crater! There's a _crater_, Marco, a _crater_ in its place!" Having enough of the situation, Marco took a step back to slam the door in the younger's face when Ace did something the first commander most certainly did _not_ expect.

Marco watched in absolute _shock– _and possibly horror– as his hand was suddenly grabbed and pulled inside Ace's pants.

Marco's tired eyes narrowed dangerously after several seconds of complete silence and he opened his mouth to scream and scold and downright _degrade_ Ace when something suddenly dawned on him.

His fingers had met nothing.

No skin, no contact.

Nothing.

His jaw dropped and his stared wide-eyed at Ace; hand moving around Ace's pants to find a male organ. Nothing. Just a crater, like Ace had stated. A very _feminine _crater. "Oh my god… Where is it?"

"I don't know!" Ace replied, his voice a tad high. "I just woke up and it was gone!"

"Okay, okay, calm down," Marco, now wide awake and just as concerned as his friend, ran through his brain for ideas. "It couldn't have gone far." _'What the hell is THAT supposed to mean?' _He quickly shook his head as he mentally slapped himself awake. "Okay, did you do anything out of the ordinary last night?"

"No, nothing at all."

"Okay," Marco breathed. "Okay, okay. We can figure this out." Ace looked like he was almost on the verge of crying and, as the first commander started to plan a way to get Ace back his manhood, Marco prayed to whatever god or gods above that the freckle male wouldn't.

* * *

They had spent the past five hours scouring the ship for any traces of Ace's manhood, but in the end they came up empty-handed. Now Ace _was_ crying and Marco didn't blame him. The whole ship suffered with Ace's loss, even Stephen– the ship's dog– was gloomy the rest of the day. The Moby Dick was quiet as it creaked and groaned on the lapping waves and the sky, though blue, seemed to tinge with gray. A day passed and Ace finally re-emerged from his room; his eyes darker than usual from lack of sleep. He stepped onto the deck and released a sigh before lookup and giving a half-smirk.

"Well, at least I wasn't a sex addict, right...?"

"True," one shipmate spoke up. "If Thatch had lost his, I don't think he'd survive a day." Thatch turned to the giant group of crew members behind and glared.

"Oi! That's not true!" A few snickers erupted from the crowd and the fourth commander mumbled something under his breath. A smile danced its way onto Ace's lips and a chuckled escaped him. The mood lightened up at that moment, and a feast was thrown. Ace gobbled up most of the meat, regretting the fact he hadn't ate the day before. But as soon as his belly was full, he let out an approved sigh. Excusing himself, he made his way back to his to his chamber. And as he laid in his comfortable bed, he let his eyes slip shut.

_'Maybe,'_ he thought, _'–maybe it'll be back in the morning.'  
_

* * *

"_What the **fuck** is happening to me?!_" The shrill yell awoke nearly every person on the ship and had them all running around in confusion. It was five in the morning, they were still half-asleep, and someone yelling at the top of their lungs was causing everyone to stumble and trip up to the deck where they found Ace curled up in the fetal position. Marco pushed passed everyone with Whitebeard and Thatch right behind him and he kneeled in front of the rocking male.

"Ace, what's wr–"

"First, my friend disappears, and now _these_ appear! Marco," Ace looked up with tear filled eyes that absolutely _tore_ everyone's soul apart and whimpered, "–what's happening to me?"

Ace's chest now sported two small but perky feminine breasts.

If the crew hadn't been so pain-struck by Ace's whimper, there would have been many nosebleeds erupting on the deck. Marco opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. He was completely and utterly speechless. He took off his jacket and put it on Ace to hide his feminine qualities and pulled him into a tight hug. "It'll be okay, Ace," he whispered. "We're gonna fix this. Don't you worry."

Marco secretly wished his words held more truth than lies.

* * *

Getting used to his new body hadn't been easy. Not only had he sprouted breasts, but his body had slimmed and his muscles grew smaller. Thankfully, though, his strength had not diminished in the slightest. He bought a nice bikini top– a faded yellow one– and wore it around the deck as he worked. Womanly breasts or not, he was gonna make damn sure his pride and joy would still show on his back.

Still, it didn't exactly help that his family members would slip a glance his way whenever he worked. But, then again, he couldn't really blame them. He _had_ been blessed– okay, _cursed_, not blessed– with an amazing feminine body. Though, on the upside, his gender swapping had quite a bit of quirks. It certainly stopped the Marines in their tracks when they confronted him.

Oh, and the look Smoker gave when his eyes landed on Ace was priceless!

And when Ace decided to have a little fun and remove his top?

Nosebleeds.

Nosebleeds everywhere.

Even from the great Smoker.

Ace would never let him live it down.

* * *

After a month in his new body, he came across Luffy's ship. The reunion had been... quite interesting, to say the least. "Haha! My brother's a woman! I always knew you were a little lady on the inside, Ace!"

Instant Fried Luffy. Quite crispy, really, but still a little too gummy to eat.

Sanji was definitely feeling conflicted about the whole thing. He knew Ace was a dude, but he was now a woman, in a way. He tried his best to control himself, he really did. But a woman was a woman and, well, Ace made a hot woman. So Sanji locked himself in the men's quarters all day to avoid any unnecessary confrontations. He didn't want to end up fried, like his captain had.

When they had left, Ace spent the rest of the day with Marco. "Really, Marco, I don't know what to do. I'm a complete and total loss. I never angered any witches and I don't think this is the work of a devil fruit. I haven't come across any wizards or anything like that. I... I'm out of ideas on how to fix this." Silence fell between the two friends.

Then, "Well, it could have been worse." Raising an eyebrow, Ace looked at the blond. "I mean, you could have been cursed with a fat body, right?"

"True..." Silence. "I'm not getting fat, right? Because I have this one dress..."

"Ace," Marco warned, earning a chuckle from the freckled female– er, I mean, male.

"I'm kidding, Marco. I'd never do something like that to you guys." Getting up, Ace stretched his stiff arms and gave a sigh. "I'm gonna get to bed. Luffy's such a handful, he always manages to tire me out so fast. G'night, Marco."

And as the freckled male walked away, Marco couldn't help but feel like he had let his friend down. "Ace." The male faced him. "I'm gonna fix this somehow. I promise." Ace gave a gentle smile.

"I know, Marco. Thank you."

* * *

_Six Months Later_

It had been, what Marco thought, another quiet and peaceful and relaxing morning. Why, you may ask, was he thinking such a thought _again_? Because it was five o'clock and nothing detrimental, nothing horrible, and nothing idiotic had happened. _Yet_. He silently prayed, as he continued to sleep soundly in his cozy bed, that it would remain that way at least until 8:30 or 9:00 because he just went to bed two hours ago. But this slightly worried him. Last time a morning like this came around, Ace lost his manhood. What would happen this time? Nothing, he hoped. So he laid in bed, nice and cozy, sleeping happily as he dreamed away.

Then...

Pounding. Loud, excited pounding at his door. A voice. A voice was yelling with something near hysteria in it. Ace. It was Ace's voice. "Marco! Marco, open the door!" The blond gave an animalistic growl as his eyes snapped open and he pushed himself off the bed. Oh no. Not again. _Not again_. What could Ace _possibly _tell him now? His _freckles_ were gone? Marco prayed to the gods above that nothing had happened to Ace again. Otherwise there might be a furious and exhausted Marco rampaging on the Moby Dick. "Marco! Open–"

"What do you want?! It's five in the morning, Ace. _Five in the fuckin' morning! _If this isn't important, I swear I'm going to wring your–"

"It's back! It's all back!" Marco blinked.

"What?"

"It's back, Marco! The breasts are gone and my muscles are back! And my dick is back! See?"

And then Marco found his hand being pulled into Ace's shorts _again_.

Only this time, he made contact.

The first commander wasted no time in attacking. Turning into his phoenix mode, he clawed and raked Ace until the male was running for his life. "You _idiot!_ What the hell were you thinking?! You woke me up at five in the morning for _that?! Son of a–_"

"Marco! Marco, I'm sorry! Please– ow! I said I was sorry! I thought you would– ah! I thought you would be _glad_ to hear this! Ow, ow, _ow_! _I'm sooorrryyy!_"

Ace never did learn how or even why he turned into a woman.

But at the moment, even though he was getting his ass handed to him, he couldn't have been more happier that he was back to normal.

_"Man's real life is happy, chiefly because he is ever expecting that it soon will be so." -Edgar Allen Poe  
_

* * *

**A/N: And there it is! I was bored, as you can tell. Anyway, here's what I wanted to say: I have lost my computer, so my One Piece stories shall not be updated soon. Though, I am in the middle of rewritting the chapters that I lost. So there's an up... kind of. I'm really sorry, guys. I have no idea how I lost a _laptop_. It's kind of embarrassing, really. A phone I can see, but a _laptop?_ Yeah, I feel like a complete idiot.**

**Again, I'm sorry.**

**In the mean time, I will be working on Thor/Avenger, Avenger/RotG stories.**

**Again, guys, I'm really sorry.**

**Hope this can hold you over for the moment.**

**If not... I'm so sorry. Q.Q**

**PS: Sorry this all that funny... The funny part of my imagination has kind of been on hiatus... *sigh***

_Your shy ice elemental,  
~roo the mischievous psycho_


End file.
